How to Maintain Your Equilibrium

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Years ago on my birthday I received a gyroscope for a gift. Perhaps you’ve seen one of these fascinating, scientific versions of a top. Still in production today, they have changed little from the original model produced in 1917. Pull the string and the finely tuned wheel whirls softly as it creates a near perfect balance. Place the spinning gyroscope on a taut string or the edge of a drinking glass, and amazingly it twirls along contentedly. The gyroscope is more than a toy — gyro-controlled guidance and navigational systems are used on ships, airplanes and even spacecraft. Have you ever wondered how those two-wheeled Segway Personal Transporters maintain their balance? Gyroscopic sensors.

As a kid I got hours of entertainment out of my gyroscope until the day it fell and dented the inner wheel. From that point on, it shuddered when it should have spun; its balance was forever compromised.

Most people I meet truly want balance in their lives. Unfortunately, it isn’t as easy as pulling a string and watching life twirl contentedly. Through life’s ups and downs, we accumulate a few dents; we shudder when we should be spinning. Balance has been compromised.

Being out of balance is not intentional with most people. Nobody starts out to sabotage the equilibrium in his or her life. It just happens. Unfortunately, work is often an accomplice in chipping away at that inner wheel that keeps us spinning smoothly. I remember when I first started out in my career, the job was all consuming. I not only worked six days a week, I worked most evenings, as well. I wasn’t trying to neglect my family or my own health, it’s simply what I thought was expected of me. As a matter of fact, life actually felt pretty good. I seemed to be accomplishing a great deal, and people honestly appeared pleased with my work. I was spinning fast, and no one tried to slow me down!

When a gyroscope loses speed, it begins to wobble before it crashes. If you catch it in the wobble stage, you can give the string another pull and all is well. But once it falls from its pedestal, that’s when it can sustain permanent damage. Most of us wobble before we crash. Hopefully, someone — a friend, a family member, a spouse — will help us realize what is happening before we do too much damage. My wife helped me realize that my work/life balance was actually out of balance with the rest of my life. Together, we worked to insure that balance returned to our lives.

We talk a lot about our work/life balance, but I suggest the focus should actually be on balancing our life’s work. The priority must always be on life and how work can be a supportive element in that process. When work is the priority and life becomes merely a supporting element, that’s when everything begins to wobble. So here are three suggestions to help prevent the wobbles and keep you balanced.

(1) List Your Priorities
Through the years, I have found this little exercise helpful when making crucial decisions. List, side-by-side, the advantages and disadvantages of each possible decision. When all the possibilities are spelled out before your eyes, it may help you make a more informed and wise decision. In a similar manner, list your major priorities in order of importance to you. Start with what you consider to be most valuable in life (family, marriage, contentment, spiritual matters, work, clients, etc.), and work your way down to the lesser priorities (hobbies, discretionary choices, etc.).

Next to each priority, assign an honest estimate of the time you devote to that concern. If you notice that your higher priorities are receiving a disproportionate lack of your time and energy, be assured that you are out of balance. You can delude yourself into thinking that quality time can compensate for quantity of time, but it simply isn’t true.

(2) Learn to Say “No”
Our egos are easily manipulated; everyone loves to feel needed! So when someone of influence appeals to your ego and suggests that your help is vital to a critical project, or only you are capable of getting the job done, it becomes hard to say no. I know; I’ve allowed my ego to talk me into accepting unnecessary added responsibilities way too often. Very few people are indispensable to any project or program so don’t let guilt squeeze a yes from your lips. Remember, your time is indispensable to your family and friends; save your best for them. Learn to say NO.